Too much information can be bad for me
This whole raising a child thing is pretty hard out and most of the time completely overwhelms me. I read a few books and countless websites before Zo came into the world and I continue to google almost every day about the current issue or unexplainable thing she is doing that day.
Won't stop crying, won't eat anything today, only wants one boob each feed this week, won't sleep through the night yet, her weight, her height, her skin, her eye-sight, her hearing, her nappy rash, the shape of her head, the toys she is playing with, if she is upright enough, if she is getting enough exercise, if she is eating too much, the size of her clothing, her birthmark issue (googled that a bajillion times) and the list goes on and on and on...
It seems like everyone has something to say about each and every issue or milestone in my babies life. And I know most people are out to help me but sometimes I have to sit back and say to myself... What? I should do what for my babies hand eye co-ordination? or what? she won't focus in class later on in life? mmm really? I mean REALLY? Did every single mum in the history of the world make sure she danced around the lounge lifting her baby up and down to make sure each and every one of us turned out ok? I DON'T THINK SO!
Ok so I will always worry about my child, but I'm sure she will turn out OK. I'm just saying that lately it seems that I can have too much information. It's my own fault half the time because I go looking for it and find more than I bargained for! I then get confused, worried and second guess all my decisions I have made so far and wind myself up and feel like I am a terrible mother. For example, just when I feel on top of things, I read or hear that I shouldn't prop by baby up in a sitting position because she will learn to sit first instead of crawl and apparently that is bad. Really? I mean REALLY? COME ON!?!
*holding hands up to ears shaking head and screaming*
Zoe, I'm just going to love you, care for you and just BE there for you because I know you need me. Everything else is just a game we can play along the way. I just need to remember that.
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You have wisdom far beyond your years! I love this post. Too. Bloody. Right!
So spot on. I feel, rather cynically, that most of this "advice" while well-meaning is probably more about selling you something or keeping someone employed handing out advice than it is useful. Kids managed to grow up just fine before we knew all this stuff! Sure some of our environment is a bit different but not so damn different as all that! All that sitting crap though, oh please. Kids will crawl unless they're a bum-scooter and there's not a damn thing you can do to influence it either way. Personally I'd be far more worried about walkers and a kid who tries to walk before they crawl than sitting. I suppose it's a bit like the Bush administration using the amber alerts to keep the country scared and under control - "they" like to keep the mums scared and under control too. If your baby is happy and healthy, if you're mostly sane and sometimes showered, then way to go, you're a success is what I figure!
All of the helicopter Dr. Sears attachment stuff can make you crazy. (And I'm an attachment parent who wore slings and breasfed forever.)
The best advice I got (unsolicited, of course) was to trust my instincts.
Also, people always told me it gets easier. (Which at the time I found kind of patronizing and condescending.) It's true. It does get easier.
There's really not too much that you can do wrong.
@Jacqui : 'sometimes showered'?? HAHAHA so true!
@Juli : YES! I have actually found that my instincts have been a great guide lately. I just need to learn to trust them!
Every first born child was raised by a Mum who had never done it before, and I am sure those people arent still wearing nappies in their 30s! (Half the U.S. presidents were first borns). We all just work it out eventually. You hit it on the head at the end Sarah....a loving relationship between mother and child is all you both need to worry about.